underneath the boughs of the giant flowering tree

again waking from this dream
a trapped

no more

now resting beneath the limbs outstretched
and overhead pomised a lit bright day

she walked toward the mirrored path again

the staff she had hewn from fallen
would serve her on the rest of this journey

she recollected the beginnings of it
again alone
having left her companions
in their various places of destination
en route

now the reflective road stretched before her
smooth clicks of heels
on unscratchable mirrors
this glass still astonished

while sleeping there off the path
she had dreampt,
and what of that
those dreams were as conversations
over scrounged food with passersby
from long ago
...
all of it is simply forgotten now
doesn't matter
what has been done
that is the core of it
what could she claim
very little yet she felt

she thought of her mother
and the boys
and their meager garden

she wished for wings to carry her faster to the castle

opening her eyes she saw what had happened

the citrus castle

she was seven years old
it was an acquaintences birthday party
from a wealthy family
on the other side of the wall

beyond the wall there were many beautiful homes
with fresh water
enough to play in even
they kept the water in large open basins
evaporating to the sky
and kept plants from distant lands
not even for food
lavishing attention on them
they had amazing vehicles just for themselves spotlessly
clean and always running
they had open places where trees grew
and children could play
outside
and they were so safe
beyond the wall there were many beautiful things

she looked to the sides of the castle
it was a vibrant orange
and sun streamed in thru the
yellow parachute fabric spires
she was alone
and she bounced up and down on the air
twirling and landing
spinning and landing
then just throwing herself into the nothing
knowing she would land into the softest softness
the smell of the oranges
decorative
scented lovely
thru the summer currents of warm atmosphere
all effortlessness
she fell free to the floor
eyes delicately closed
the energy from the sun suffused all cells
relaxing into the eternity of light

the book she couldn't find there

she shivered and turned
what if it was him

the nearing footsteps reverberated down the empty hall

she clutched her knees
curling instinctively into herself
eyes shut tight
like a child hiding
becoming invisible in the squinted dark
she stopped even her breath
and waited

the door opened

she sat slumped against the shelves
head in her hands
hair a tangled drapery
clenched fists and spite
tears refusing to spill

it had begun to rain lightly
it was only an hour before dawn

she jerked up
tensed at the sound of footsteps
and squinted strained eyes into the grey light

empty

she closed her eyes from the cold dim light of the library

she got down on her knees
her hands moving slowly over the leathery spines

she would know when she found it

her fingertips felt the edges of binding
worn cloth
well oiled skin
inlay and golden type
some so old they gave way beneath even her most gentle touch
book after book after book after book after...

it seemed an eternity of searching
her knees were sore and her back ached
she had come to the end of the cases
and found nothing.

seeking out the right volume

if there was any answer it was here

she trusted no one else

the shelves on which her hope sat were dusty
cracked spines and bindings
missing pages
these hidden away ancients
long transcribed to digital records
had no purpose anymore

except for their ink

she had known from her mother the power of these books
but she had never used it
she had wanted to ignore her heritage

was it the source of these dreams
the cure
had she simply feared it long enough
or was it scraping at her psyche to be free

what would she release though
into the world by doing this
by choosing this path

there was no other way

all this time thinking and purusing each cover carefully
wiping away the age from the titles to read them

her eyes searched...what name was she was looking for
she didn't really even know that the book would exist

it too had just been a dream perhaps
she sought more fervently
pushing aside these thoughts from her cobwebbed mind

from every corner of the unknown

she rushed down the hall
plagued by memories of what she saw
nightmared, terrified and claw scratches down the halls trailing
her nightgown catching at invisibility
clenching her fists
at hem and hair
she fled toward the great library

there was no alternative now

it was still night
and no one would come for her until dawn
as planned
then the ceremony and the start
the journey she had to make alone
down that road no one had traveled
and there was no map
just a myth
a story really
passed on and on
that if she followed
they said
she would come to that city
and she would be known as what she was
their queen
sounded simple enough
but if she had been just some innocent
perhaps she could go fearless
not knowing how hurt hurt could feel
and what little part of her psyche
lept from it's tracks crashed
had to be fixed
or should she get lost out there
there would be no getting back

the future queen slung open the door to the grand library
pride of the whole land
she knew exactly where she was going

she had found the people here to be
quite fond of knowledge as well as tale
and appreciated the written word almost as a religion

arriving at the east wing she delicately removed the passkey
from it's place near the stairs
and waved it thru the sensor
a series of chimes sounded
and the thick glass door opened toward her
she replaced the key
and passed thru to the inner rooms